I’m Selfish

Have you ever had one of those really busy days? When everything you do seems to be overlapping with the next and you can’t seem to finish anything well?

Or, maybe you are like me lately, and this has been a season you are in. I feel like over the past few months I have grown to become queen of the to-do list.

My days, give or take a few changing variables, look like me groggily waking up to my alarm, rushing out the door to my 9–6 job, filling my breaks and lunches with an errand, then going straight from work to my next activity. Most of my evenings I have planned. Whether it’s small group, church volunteering, homework, or time with my husband.

None of these things on my list are bad. But over the last year, I have formed a cadence to my life.

My schedule, my time, my to-do list, and my rushing around, all of the sudden, has become a lot about me.

Yes, I pray and ask for God’s eyes to see my colleagues, my friends, and the need around me. But I find that if I am too worried about my schedule and tasks, life can grow very selfish. To where maybe I don’t stop to help my colleague in need because I need to run home to make dinner. Or maybe my husband doesn’t get to share with me his heart because I told myself by 8:00 p.m. I would be sitting at my computer working on homework.

I begin to see people’s need as an inconvenience to my schedule.

And this is a problem.

I don’t want to be like the person who, in Matthew 25:31–46, asks God when He was present needing food, drink, clothing, an invitation, or other help. I feel deeply convicted that my cadence of life must change in order for me to truly see the world around me. Because it’s not about me.

My life is God’s and for His kingdom on earth. I don’t want to miss His presence and His desire for me to engage His children—because my nose is stuck in my planner.

Maybe you can relate to this? This month, let’s look up from our to-do lists and embrace the distractions or disruptions; however that may look in your life.


Abi Khavari traveled the world, writing for a non-profit agency in the Middle East. She now lives in Colorado, got married recently, and is starting her masters degree in counseling this spring.







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