Identity Crisis

“I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him” (John 14:6–7).

During the summer of 2014, I walked the streets of Chiang Mai, Thailand, with a campus ministry. As a very recent college graduate, I was worried about the next phase of a new post-graduate life. What was I doing in the middle of Thailand? Where would I be after this summer?

One of the challenges I faced was asking complete strangers if they knew the name of Jesus. I saw the statistics. I knew Thailand was considered unreached. But surely someone on the street would recognize His name!

Not one soul I asked knew about Jesus. Surprised by the anger welling inside me, I escaped to a coffee shop to pray. Why did I know Him, but they did not?

Upon my return to the United States, I delayed my entrance to graduate school. I felt confused and guilty. I felt selfish for pursuing a goal that didn’t immediately put me back on the missions field.

The year following my identity crisis in Thailand was not easy. I was confronted by my sin and my desires. I prayed—a lot. In hindsight, I can see that I was brought low in order to see His grace magnified in my life.

My deep need for Him made me fall more in love with Him. The result? I wanted people to know Him.

He brought me all the way to Thailand and made me reevaluate my life “plans” to show me His mission. During that year, I also learned more about billions of people all over the world—not just Thais—who don’t know a thing about Jesus.

I don’t know the specifics of my future. But I’m sure that His mission always leads back to Him. My mission? Follow.


Rebekah Bundy has worked as a writer and copy editor and is excited about teaching secondary education this fall. She and her husband are passionate about international missions and discipleship.




Back to Top